A slice of me! · Pondering Thoughts

First post of the year.

It feels good to be out of hibernation mode. The season of reflection has passed. Spring has sprung and I feel alive once again. This island chicken does not have tough skin when it comes to the cold of Missouri in winter. The humidity seeps it deep into ones bones. Although, this winter was very mild, and I really should not complain. Makes no difference. Hibernation mode for me did commence.

It feels good to get back outside. Replanting and re-potting, digging my heels into the Earth. Oh, how I have missed her sweet touch.  I love this time of year. Adding new elements to our yard. The fae and I are pleased. 😉 Our most recent addition an amazing yucca!

Ugh, I LOVE me some Earth. Seems a silly statement to say. Doesn’t it?

I do know people who really don’t like the outdoors.

My first assignment to those who coach with me. MORE of it!

TO be connected to nature is to be connected to self. To a shaman the Earth is the body. What we do to her, we do to ourselves.

I give thanks on this day for the love Jesus came to show us. I give thanks on this day for the divine connection to spirit and all her glory. I am grateful for the life that I live.

I lost my wedding ring at the circle, I was proud of the way I handled things. Spirit showed me how much I have truly grown.

Let me rewind a bit for you.

Today, I soaked up more of the outdoors at The Circle on the Square Holistic Life Center. It was Rock(gems)Fest, and I performed a shamanic drumming meditation for part of the line up. Oh it was a glorious day! The weather was magnificent. Sunshine kisses, grass between my toes, feet black as dirt.

During the meditation and drumming I was fortunate to witness unwavering love.

There before me as I drummed for the few who lay comfortably in the grass on woven blankets. A little boy who I was pleased to become acquainted with, he was the age of 5 and one year, began to fall asleep hand stretched to the stranger beside him. He belly down. She belly up. Soaking up the vitamin D, he was sweetly caressing the tips of her fingers.

The intent for the day was opening the heart, connecting to love. What a lovely display of unconditional love, the love from a child. He lay there the whole time with just the tips of his fingers matching the tips of hers. She was a middle-aged woman dressed in a lovely blue and white Bali style dyed shirt and yoga pants. It was the sweetest thing my eyes did see.

To follow the meditation was Dances of Universal Peace and a drum circle. Fast forward to the drumming>>>>

Drums speak to my soul. It activates something deep within me. I can travel to another dimension with just me and my drum. Throw in the community and my heart skips a beat. Head over heels am I for any drum circle. I LOVE IT, I get lost. This time I also lost my wedding ring!

Now, this is the time I must take a moment to give myself a huge shout-out! 7 years ago Shanda would have been in a panic attack immediately upon realizing I had lost my wedding ring. Sure, my heart still sank for moment. I would have been losing breath too by this point and in full-blown ugly cry, can’t breath, mode. That moment could have lasted for a while. Today, I remained calm.

I took a deep breath and kept reminding myself that I need not panic over a “thing”. Reminding myself that I need not be so attached to an item. After a few moments of looking, the rest of the circle now having joined me, I gave Eric a call.

It wasn’t until then that I teared up a bit. After speaking with him I hung up, wiped the droplets from my face and took a deep breath in. I sat on the grass and closed my eyes. I focused on connecting with spirit, with the Earth, and with my ring. I envisioned finding it, placed my hand in the clovers to the right and there it was.

Cheerfully I yelled out, “I found it”! Internally I thanked God for the beautiful test to show me my current strengths. My progression forward on my path.

The drummers stayed to a soft lull as we searched. The rhythm really took me away. I got lost in the sound, and then found exactly what I was looking for. I remained calm. I trusted.

To reflect and see the test before me. To see the growth in life that I alone have achieved is breathtaking and spectacular.  Just as you can for self. Trust me friends, YOU ARE WORTH IT! Take time for self. Take time to transform.

Transformation isn’t easy. You have to be willing to do the work. To ride the spiral. To understand that you WILL come back to things. You have to see things as the lessons they are. The more you haven’t received the lessons needed, the more you will ride that spiral.

I can assure you that once received, once perceptions change, things transform around you as well. If you are willing to do the work from the inside, out, you will see magical things! Trust. Don’t trust me. Just, TRUST.

Get out into the glorious place we call home. Step outside. Spend as much time as you can here. Let the mother Gaia wrap you in her bosom. In her giant loving arms. Never forgetting that her wrath can be just as swift and mighty. Pay her the respect she deserves. The same respect that you deserve. You are her. She is you.

Start your day giving love to self. Change your words, change your life. That is how it all began for myself. I was so angry at the world, in such a dark place, and truly had led myself to believe that I hated myself to the core. I had to learn to love myself again.

SO, I awoke each day and looked in the mirror and said, “I love you”, I did this until I believed it. For me this is where it all began. The vibration WILL seep through. Jesus, and all the others who have come to share this message of love for spirit will make their way through the cracks. I am so thankful of what Jesus came to show us, what he came to teach.

For myself as a modern-day medicine woman born of two tribes, the “white man” and of indigenous blood, I believe it is important for me to connect to both parts of myself. I feel them within me. I see the importance for me, in my life. What works for one, will not always be for another. That is okay. Love, still. God, spirit, source is all. Love.

It has taken me many years to be comfortable saying that I can believe in Jesus and the Earth. That I can feel source the way I do and love you because you may feel it differently or not at all. I can love science and see that story is also one in the same. All branches of the same tree.

This is who I am. This is what I feel within me. I am okay if this is not you, or for you. I still love.

Tap into the vibration of love that you are. Share your authentic self with the world and allow your purpose to emerge with ease. Dance more. Sing loud. Be a little more assertive, a lot less angry,  and show compassion to those you meet. It goes a long way. Not just to others, to self too. Reminding yourself we all have a story. We have all been through shit. This human life comes equipped with it. Contrast and comparison needed. To deeply feel and know the latter.

You are worthy. I send you love from the depths of my soul. Close your eyes and feel this love that I send to you. Right here, and right now I push the intention of love through my fingertips into the keyboard, and into the waves of the screen before you. From me to you. From me to the world. From me to all.




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