I have had an agh-ha moment, a break through as to why my blog does not flow. For years now I have tried to keep it tailored just like my social media platforms, as a way to share messages of love and light. I chose to keep things of a positive nature. So, when I would sit down to blog for the day I would feel guilty if I just wanted to release and vent all the things in my head. I would delete if things got ” too real”.
Looking back at my popular post, and well looking at blogs I enjoy most, are ones often of people just sharing things from a authentic and real place. I know that people want to relate, I just so badly have this urge to share love. Well, sharing ones authentic self, is sharing love. I reminded myself of the message I so often share with others. If you follow on IG Fellow travelers follow here or on FB you see that I keep things upbeat.
I will continue to do so, and I do feel powerfully about this message. Love is all!
I will still share much love here in this space. It truly is where my life mostly resonates these days. I see things so differently. It has taken many years, and lots of self evaluation. I just never wanted to bare things and bore the readers with my life. I guess to some degree I worried about being PC or not pissing any one off as well. I do tend to be one to overly worry about upsetting or ruining the day of another. I believe this to be pretty common to those who identify with being an “empath” or someone who carries empathy to a degree of literally feeling the emotions and thoughts of others. There are different “levels” of intensity, I seem to have them all. Thank goodness for the understanding of this and the reasoning to see when it is not my emotions I am fully processing. Learning about this was a game changer for me in many ways!
Random thought: thank goodness we are not in the 20’s. haha, to just think if I talked about hearing and processing the emotions of others where they would lock me up at. I am sure a nice little place where they would experiment on humans who were actually probably clairvoyant and not crazy. I have always had a weird fondness and curiosity toward insane asylums. I have come to gather probably because I spent a part of a lifetime in one for sure. Who is to say really? Just something I feel. Interesting to think on none the less, but have always had a feeling that many that were locked up were often just highly sensitive to the spirit world and did not know how to communicate properly, both to that world and to those here. I am sure that there were varying cases. Maybe I am just picking up on my existence in one.
I hope you find amusement as I continue to write and blog further of the wild antics of my mind. One never really knows where my mind will wander. I was once told at the Natural Healing Arts Fair in Springfield, Missouri that I had a Picasso mind. That each compartment could think upon different things simultaneously and process things both left and right brained like with ease. I wish I would have had a recorder of this woman’s description. It was the best description I had heard of the way my mind works in a few short sentences.
Little pieces like that along my path are just some of the magic that I experience. Pieces that reassure me and show me that I am not off or wrong in what I am feeling. Pieces and people that God is using to serve me in my life with a message. I only hope I can show up to serve as much as those who have helped me along my path. This life of helping others step into their wholeness is beyond rewarding. I am wealthy in many forms. Perhaps not monetarily. We have never been with out anything essential that we need. All my life, even during the times when I thought I had nothing, I have always had everything.
To grow to a place that one sees that everything before them held purpose. That all the shitty things and abuse, and rape, and trauma, and sadness, and depression, and anxiety, and self mutilation, and hate; they all hold purpose into growth. That one can become stronger from any situation presented if they so make that choice. Now simply making a choice does not mean just that, with that too comes work. It takes LOTS of work to rewire our brains and retrain our souls. It takes work to tap into ones highest self and find the balance and duality in the beings we are. Self evaluation is absolutely tough. But, it is beyond worth it!
We can them come to messages and epiphanies as to why we struggle. Ask and you shall receive. You have to be out in life and ready to receive it too! Try something new every day! I also realized that I rush myself when it comes to blogging. I am not really sure why I held so much pressure in this platform but I am letting it go. Getting out there, the beginning to my journey in this existence helped. I have been doing a lot of work in these past weeks to finally release this hurt and resentment I would feel from time to time for some in my family. Taking the time to really dig deep and figure out why I still feel the need for approval from family members who have hardly been there.
This life, it sure can be tough at times. I would have to say that the good out weighs the bad though. Even looking back in the times I thought my life was coming to an end, there really was light if I was honest.
Now, I still meant and believe everything that I post. I see that the changing of the way we think, and viewing the positive does work. But, if I don’t share the journey and the insight, what do my readers and those who happen by have to grasp onto. Sure, perhaps the positive message is what they needed to hear, but if we can’t be sure what to do with it, is it any good? Only to a point.
Releasing more. Sharing my authentic life. I have bared my soul. For me now it goes further. Now, I must connect to those who follow my travels. It is time to share deeper the magic I experience. Not simply sharing that it is there. More, depth, more! Telling myself this is why my blog has been lacking. Saying the mantra, adding more, depth, more!!
My soul is sure. It is time to share further. I am at peace with who am, why? I do see love every where I go, why? I experience magic in many forms, where? I see the light in many people, places, and things; when?
Thank you Spirit for showing me once again exactly what I needed. Thank you for supporting me on this journey and for giving me the opportunity to evaluate myself and better myself. Thank you. Thank you!