I can admit, one of my major weaknesses in this existence is my virgo need to compare. I keep it in check but damn am I critical of myself. I try not to be critical of others, but that too can escape from time to time. I also see it is why I am insecure, because judgement happens in my life, it is why I judge myself. Did I mention I am a Virgo?
This evening someone asked me how I do what I do, stay so grounded and “under control”. I simply reminded that just because I seemed cool, calm, and collective from the outside did not mean that I did not have struggles and things I am still working through.
Not to mention I have done a crap ton of work and self reflection through the years, but that is besides the point, I still struggle. It is why I opened with that tidbit of information. We all have things that we are working on. All our paths very different from the next, as it should be. Bottom line we all struggle with something. Are you human? Then you struggle.
My biggest hurdle is still my need to compare myself to everyone. Literally. I compare myself at times where it makes no sense. Well, I suppose I am telling the world it makes no sense ever. So, here spirit is sending me a message. Stop your need to compare your path to the next. It cannot be done. Two paths, can NEVER be the same. Nor should we want them to be.
Oh, how amazing Spirit is, to have someone compare themselves to me, to show me, my need to stop comparing. I can proudly say it is sorta my last hurdle. Sure, there will be other things that present themselves but it really is that last iconic piece of the puzzle, MY puzzle. Will it be gone immediately after this post, doubtful, but realization really is the first step, and I am consciously working on releasing this side of me.
I just love how synchronicity works, I really do get drunk on it all, the natural high that life’s magic can provide. That this existence can show us if we allow ourselves to EXPERIENCE our OWN lives. What did YOU come here to experience? Do you take the time for yourself to answer and seek the answers to questions such as this? Do you allow spirit to show you, the answer you seek?
I am not some magical being beyond what any of you are, because let’s face it, we are pretty magical folks. 😉 I struggle just like all of you. Like anyone does. I simply have acquired some tools to help combat fear based emotions and to tell those suckers to kick it to the curb…when they arise. They may be fewer and farther in between the moments in my life these days, but they do still happen. And always will. Our fear based emotions are part of the process and too can have great release and purpose in one’s life. Don’t always negate them. Sometimes it just feels good to primal scream. Sometimes we need to cry.
One of my biggest areas that I compare myself is with my art. I know, I know. Of all places. Some of that is my strive to be better, which I know is a good quality but my EGO can quickly turn it sour. Good ol’ EGO. Biggest advice keep one’s EGO in check. If you can achieve this you can achieve the calmness you seek. I promise. I just need to release the critic.
I would never reject someone else’s art process, I would tell them it is art, and there is no right or wrong way. In my mind, there most definitely is a right and wrong way. Yet, when you live with that kind of thinking it typically creates the inability to do it at all. So, then one’s fear of not being adequate creates NO art at all, making one manifest what they fear.
This comparison struggle in my life no longer prevents me from doing the things I love, from creating art, and just having fun, but it definitely is there and still something I see present in my life.
It’s late, I am pretty sure this spew of words makes sense, if not its all good. In short. We all struggle.
I leave you with some of a photography sesh from a few years ago at least. circa 2011 I believe.
Wake every day to be the best you, you know how to be. Strive to be your best and you are doing it right. Guaranteed. Be genuine. If you don’t like what you see or feel, who is stopping you from change?
You are beautiful. You are magical. You are amazing! BE you, be real. Start here, Start now!!
Kisses~ Shanda K