Ughhh!!! Sometimes being me, well, being human, is just darn right frustrating. Will I ever reach this state of “zen” I wish to achieve?! Will I ever be-rid myself of this perpetual cycle of doubt, fear and worry?! AHHHHHHH!!!
OKay now that I have that part of the way…
Hello blogging community. I am back… Well, I am blogging. I cannot say that I am fully recharged & renewed. As my blog post prove, or lack there of, I have been absent, gone, missing. I most definitely have been in a slump. I allowed the stresses of life to get to me. My studio is up, I am still working on the going. Fear has a hold of me…this I must admit. I hate how when life gets one down it takes nothing to continue on the downward slope. I went there. I went back to the pits I refused to go. To be a little easy on myself I did not go all the way back, none the less, I still went back and I am SO over it!!
I suppose the nice thing about all of this is I recognize immediately when I get into my slumps. Compared to once before in my life these times are few and far in between. I look to the days that they are non-existent. It’s funny how simply getting out of the routine of life, of things that make us happy, can really turn ones world upside down. This is especially the case for myself. When I stop meditating, writing, and doing me, my guides take no time to remind me. Myself takes no time to remind me that I need those things. My mind is my own worst enemy. More so…my EGO!
Why is there not a magic button to push to simply release the constrains society has put on our brains. Why must I judge everything I do by what others deem right?! I know I should not… BUT I DO! The funny thing is I really am proud to be me. To be different. Unique. Weird. Yet this little voice butts in at times to say..are you sure people will accept. Understand. What I have to say to that is WHO CARES…BUT I DO!
This I must release. This I AM releasing. Rarely do I intend to share post of a negative nature but sometimes you just gotta let it out! For the past few days now I logged on to WordPress with the intentions to write a long over due post. Being in a point of being overly judgemental on myself I stared at the screen for a few minutes, gave up, logged off. I did not want to sway from my usual positive uplifting post so I chose to not even try. Then today I decided to just get out of my head the thoughts I drove into a blank screen. Instead of critiquing my every move I decided to just start typing. To just get what I needed to out into the world. Let the universe process all of this extra baggage. It does me no good circling in my mind.
Just now it came to me….
Although my post may not be positive in nature it could still be uplifting for my followers to read. It shows that even those who practice a spiritual life style. Even those who seem like they have it together all the time and are always positive to the world outside even we have our down falls. Even we struggle. We just hide it a bit better. LOL.
Sometimes simply getting it out can help. I forget this about myself at times and because of all that I am trying to achieve I keep negative feelings bottled up as to not bother others. When simply I need to learn to release it. Release it out in any way I can.
Already feeling much better. Once again working on getting back in the swing of things. Have a blessed Wednesday everyone. Glad to be back!
Phew….that felt good!
Peace, Love & Mahalo ❤ Shanda